Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Friendly Holes

What would we do without social interaction...?

I have some friends in my life that really add to the quality of my lifestyle. When I am around them I feel inspired and motivated and feel the encouragement of enjoying life to it's fullest.

I also have friends in my life that suck the living life out of me and quite honestly... i need to take a nap after dealing with them due to high strain.

So why do I keep them in my life? I've been pondering this question for some time now and trying to identify why we are friends. Just like all relationships, it's sometimes best to be reminded why you are friends in order to carry on with the relationship.
After thinking long ... very long and hard, I can't really remember why we got stuck together and why I feel the need to continue on with the friendship. Is it because I feel sorry for them and know that no-one else will be their friend? I tend to do that, to my own doom tho. I mean, if you don't have friends, then there is most likely a good reason. Or is it because I get an ego boost from interacting with them and realizing that I have a pretty great life compared to the losers out there? Is it because I'm afraid that I can't do any better...? whatever the reason, it isn't good enough. The fact remains that the people that you surround yourself with should be a positive influence in your life.
Be it family, friends or pets. We shouldn't feel obligated to waste our time in other's presence that essentially don't want us there or we don't want to be there.

Yes, we learn from the people around us - be it good or bad. But what I have found is when we have people in our lives that are just proving to be an example of what we DON'T want to be... we start having to stoop to their level in order to interact with them.

I found myself doing that recently and was shocked at what I was capable of. I don't want to be a bitter old lady that just complains. I want to be that old lady dancing with her husband to the golden oldies and enjoying life with all the positiveness it brings.

There is already so much pain, troubles, disappointment in life with our government, schools, families etc... why dwell on that?

Surrounding myself with like-minded people is my goal. I want to enjoy my friends company and look forward to hanging out with them. I don't want to be around the stinky rotten potatoes.

I'm not saying that I want to just hang around people who think and act like me... how boring. I want to be challenged in my friendships and hear different opinions about life and love. What I don't want to hear is the constant droning on about how hardly done by they are and what pain they have.. and what money issues they have and how you can't get a word in edge ways... because everything is about them.

So, the culling and pruning needs to commence. I want to have a full and positive life and some aren't contributing to it... you need to go.

Goodbye vrot potatoes... :)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Parents; So What is Our Role?

I been observing different people's Parenting Skills, and have seen such a diverse range of what people find their duty, their right, their problem and then their guilt. My only real reference would be what my parents did and should either read this, you did a wonderful job ;) ;) (i mean, look at me ;))

Firstly, kids will never understand nor appreciate what you did and continue to do for them until they have their own kids. So don't expect gratitude - and if you get it, savour it... savour every minute of it.

So when do parents not get involved in their kids lives? This is quite a touchy subject on both sides. I've seen a few kinds of parents and would like to find a happy medium for my family, so how do I get there?
Here are a list of parents that I have come in contact with over the last couple years whose kids are already out the house.

  • Super involved to the point of causing more fights than happy family times
  • Involved with that parenting love but they know the line (not always! ;))
  • See you out of obligation
  • Never see you, but pretend to be bothered by it
  • Don't care
My reference would be my parents involvement and that would be the second one. While they do step over the line at times, their involvement as an entirety has been needed, positive, fun and educational. I know they still think they know better than I do, and judging by the fact that they are older than me, I don't doubt that. however, I can't and wont act like a 40 year old. :)

I also recently came into contact with a father that has a complete different attitude towards his children and that is one of: You Owe Me.
He has a manner of making his children continuously seek his approval and acceptance to a point of making them feel inadequate. He thrives on his children's kids giving his kids a hard time and keeps reminding his kids of what needy and childish things they did when they where younger. He is also very quick to point out that he is never wrong and bullies his children into bowing to his every whim.

Now, I ask you - what kind of a person wants to see his children fail? They have been brought up not to stand up for themselves therefore unable to stand up to other bullies in this world. You cant succeed if you let everyone walk all over you. Why would a parent do that? Children are a precious precious gift. A chance for you as a person to empower another person and give them everything in life to succeed.

My folks taught me to think for myself, challenge life, work hard, find passionate love and give to others. I want my kids to have that, I want to them KNOW that they can reach for the stars, that they can be great because I make them feel great and they will always have my support and love regardless of what happens. I will open my home to them no matter how old they are, I will give them lunch money, no matter how old they are and I will give them my shoulders to stand on inorder to reach their dreams. I want them to beam... using the rays of love I have poured into them.

Selfish parents are in my eyes the worst failures in the world...

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Why I'm Glad I Don't Really Have a Culture!!

I have always felt the need to identify myself with traditional culture values. Coming from a complete mixed breed of German, Greek, Irish, Jewish and Dutch - I've found it difficult to stick to one culture. I do however favour the German blood in myself far above the rest!

But German culture is foreign to me - I don't live in Germany, nor speak their language. So, I have a longing, a longing to belong.... up until now!

I've looked into the different cultures now, and with the good aspects, come bad. While I am of the opinion that people can choose what traditional values they hold too... they are brainwashed from such a young age that it's ok to do the things we do... due to tradition.
This is very very dangerous and in some ways more damaging than religious traditions.

I recently met this man, who holds his traditional values very high. He is a well educated man and "successful" in the eyes of his peers.
He holds to the tradition of Labola - while I've never really paid close attention to this before, I asked him what does it mean to him. As a traditional cultural act, but also on a personal level, how does he perceive Labola.

He said that every man has the right to purchase his wife, thus owning her. The more money he has, the more woman he can purchase. He is adamant that his wife is his property based on the fact that he bought her and he gets to make all her decisions. He says that a woman doesn't have the capacity to care for herself or make big decisions.
I asked him why he thinks this way and who taught him. His mother he says... who brought him up and his 14 brothers and sisters, while his dad wasn't there sleeping with other woman. Interesting as his MOTHER, who is a woman brought him up and supported her whole family!
He also added that woman dont have the right to their own lives and have to be in the care of a man.

I recognize that this might be an extreme case, but there are tons of people who think like this - and thats just scary.

Now before I rant on how I know and believe he is wrong, as that is a given. I'm very glad that my parents had the open mind of NOT brainwashing me to believe some hocus pocus garbage traditional value that in essence is slavery.

So stuff traditional cultural values... I am a Nomad and will hold my head up proud without tradition weighing me down and limiting my thinking reducing me to a pathetic waste of a person dabbling in slavery and narcism .

Friday, March 25, 2011

Bullies vs Manipulators: is there a difference?

Manipulate - to manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner:

Bully - -
a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

So really... what is the difference? only weaker people would be victims to the actions of a skillful manipulator... so can I safely say that a Bully is the Brawn where a Manipulator is the Brain....
Being a manipulator myself I have often wondered what the difference is... true, I don't smack people for their lunch money, but I do get them to give it to me through manipulating them. In the end, the Bully and I have the same results. People bowing at our every request and doing as we demand. ... I don't leave you going home with a wedgie... but in a way... you do leave with a mental wedgie which could in essence be worse...

I wonder if I could get a Bully to beat himself up... i think i should go out and try this...

Inexperienced Experts - Shoot Yourself!

So, I have a big mouth and an opinion about everything... for instance, have never owned a sports car but I think that all people who own one, are pretentious show-offs. This being a very uneducated opinion - however I still have it... :)

The difference is.... I don't go forcing my opinion down everyone's throats and treating those who think differently with complete disdain.

If you ask my for my uneducated opinion, I will give it... i will give it with gusto and conviction but you need to remember that it's an uneducated opinion...

What gets my back up so much is people who think that just because they have an opinion about a certain subject that they are now the expert in that field... come on. Get a jolly grip!!!
You know nothing... you have a sad excuse of a life if you think that you can make judgement calls because you have an opinion!! what is wrong with you???
And 9/10 these kind of idiots will force their opinion down on you...
What i have found is they THINK people take their advice... but in essence people are just agreeing with you so that you will SHUT UP and stop annoying them. So you idiots will walk out of an opinion slinging contest and think you have won. Boosting you tiny ego making matters worse.

such a vicious cycle...

So... a message to you 'smart intellectual big minded types" the normal people who are actually living life and actually experiencing the crazy and exciting things in life... we don't care what you think... go back and read your philosophical books and climb deep into your non social life. The fact remains... you have no life, you wont ever be accepted and no one really likes your en-educated opinions that you shove down everyone's throats!

claiming to be so so smart... you are making complete asses out of yourselves!!!

Shun the Demanding GChatter!!

Being in the online industry that I'm in, I'm always logged in on gChat. All my colleagues and friends are on my friend's list. Now, if I'm not infront of my mac i have my BB with me and that is also always logged on. So if there is any work issue I'm contactable.

Now my biggest issue with online chatting is: 1. AVAILABILITY.

Just because my name has a green dot next to it doesn't mean I am ready and eager to jump at your stupid request dude! Just because I never log out and always online for EMERGENCIES doesn't mean you can send some dumb work request to me at 10 at night! I have communicated this people, and quite frankly if you can't manage your work/life balance doesn't mean that I have to now suffer along side of you.

And all you people with insecurities... now if you are my friend, i love you regardless, but my love will diminish over time if you continue to be clingy stupid-heads.
A typical scene would be this; I log on to my mac, let me mail download... then i get up and make some coffee. I'm gone for a whole 5 minutes and I return to a chat screen like this::

"Clingy_Donkey says: Morning girl!
Clingy_Donkey says: hope you had a great evening!
Clingy_Donkey says: what did you get up too?
Clingy_Donkey says: i wanted to call but wasnt sure if you where sleeping at 2 in the morning...
Clingy_Donkey says: is everything ok?
Clingy_Donkey says: are you working?
Clingy_Donkey says: you dont have to be rude
Clingy_Donkey says: if you have an issue with me you can tell me!!
Clingy_Donkey says: you are so rude!!!
Clingy_Donkey says: whatever, i dont need ppl like you in my life!!!!!
Clingy_Donkey says: I am better that this.. and i wont stoop to your level!!!!
Clingy_Donkey says: im logging off now. have a nice life
Clingy_Donkey says: goodluck with life
Clingy_Donkey says: you need it
Clingy_Donkey says: !!!
Clingy_Donkey has logged off"

Here i come back from making coffee... settling in my chair, ready for the day and look at rubbish like this!!! What is your issue lameass?? You have deeper issues that I can't help with.. see a Dr.

Now if you are the kind of person that does this, I can't help you - however, if this happens to you - you are probably laughing your butt off.. and like all normal ppl this is a natural reaction to stupidity! ;)

So purge your chat friends... or if you like a laugh... keep it up! ;)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Year Resolutions

What a bunch of hokum!! The start of this year I decided to focus on the good things in my life - and by watering them, allow these things to blossom.

Instead of getting bogged down by, weight, diet, job, relationship and financial issues - and slipping into the inevitable new year blues slump, I finally see my glass as half full!

2010 taught me some tough lessons, which I swear I have learnt!

So... roll out 2011 with all the gummybears, roses and happy juice in the world!